Confidently Cultivate Cool Comrades

Do you ever wonder how much your choice of friends is helping or hindering you?

On my road trip across America, I met Robyn and her friends. How can their story apply to your life?

Robyn Benincasa, a world-class adventure racer and triathlete, now has degenerative joint disease. She had a second hip surgery a few weeks ago. Her doctor said most patients should walk without a cane after a couple months of recovery. Robyn will be hiking across the Grand Canyon.

Robyn tells me about her friend, Melissa, a fellow member of America’s first all-female firefighting crew. Bed-ridden with crippling arthritis for 4 months, Melissa, who has run 40 marathons, vowed if she were able to walk again, she’d never stop running.

Robyn’s friend, Florence, had conquered cancer twice before age 40. When I meet Florence, a 12 time Ironman Triathlon Finisher, she talks of the bond between her friends: how they support each other, have no cattiness. How notable, I think: especially for competitors by nature.

Robyn, Melissa, Florence, and two other girlfriends created the Project Athena Foundation to help people who have endured medical setbacks to live their adventurous dreams, and connect with their inner strengths. One “Athenaship” recipient, a breast cancer survivor, had long-dreamed of visiting the Grand Canyon. Now all of the women will trek across it, together.

Robyn and her pals show us that, when we connect with friends who help our being, we can bond together – and inspire others.

Did you know that, with more energy, it’s proven: you’re kinder to people and can advance with the stamina you need toward your dreams? Maybe your dream now is to have a better relationship with your child or spouse. Or to find a dream or passion that will fuel you.

What if you could do that and energize friends so you could have friends for life?

Robyn has become a pal since we first met. Also since that time, she became a CNN Hero, among the most-often booked female speakers for Fortune 1000 companies, is still fighting fires, and running the Project Athena foundation.

I interviewed Robyn to find her tips on how we can confidently cultivate comrades who energize us.

Robyn suggests:

1. Have your best self-talk, always. Create a person in yourself that you reallylike. If your self-talk isn’t one that brings you up constantly, change it. THEN you can ask, “Who else can I bring with me?” Strive to impress, inspire and amaze yourself first.
2. “Be a Balloon.” “Balloons” are people you attach to that will bring you up. If people are inspired when they are around you, then you are a balloon. To advance this: Focus on friends you can interact with in pursuit of goals you have: friends based on positive things, moving forward – to achieve more and do better.
3. Consistently prop each other up. You know you’ve found a good friend when you’re consistently propping each other up, making each other better, and makin’ sure the other one’s not goin’ off the rails! 

 To go a little deeper, some BONUS questions for your reflection:

1. When you look in the mirror, what do you see and what do you tell yourself? When you find a situation challenging, with what attitude do you meet that challenge? Do you gift yourself with the confidence required? What improvements could you make?
2. Do you know when your friends need support? Are you paying attention? Which of your friends consistently support you? Do you consistently support your friends? Do your friends know when you need support?

3. What is one big goal you want to try now? Within the next 3 months? Within the next year?

Ask these questions. If you can’t find the answers, I might be able to help you. You may find the answers with coaching.

For more information, visit High Performance Coaching at JillianRobinson.com. I’m a Certified High Performance Coach with a passion to help people live their best selves, enjoying the consistent feelings of full engagement, joy and confidence. I interview and coach changemakers and parents committed to positively impact young peoples’ lives. My vision is that someday personal development will be taught as commonly as math and science. When you participate in my programs, you become part of that positive change.